oh trust me, I know that grieving/healing isn't a linear thing; I still suffer PTSD symptoms 8 years after stuff happened to me.my issue is that, within narratives, some things need to be wrapped up within a certain timeframe or else they don't make sense within the context of the show. plotlines can and do expire. if this dream scene was a slab a meat, I would have felt comfortable cooking it up and eating it in season 6 (likely while sobbing uncontrollably). I would have been cautious about consuming it in the first bit of 7, but I probably wouldn't get food poisoning. season 9? it's getting tossed immediately and I'm bleaching the hell outta the entire fridge, wondering who it is I need to yell at for leaving it in there so long.
maybe I would have been okay if it was JUST about feeling inadequate re: Jack (and got rid of Foyet because he'd be even more useless there) and I probably would have understood having a flashback because of a case (tho if there was new Foyet footage, we would probably have gotten a graphic rape scene, given what Foyet said about proving he doesn't stab his victims bc he's impotent). what I can't get behind is Hotch needing Haley to tell him it's okay for him to be happy when he's literally been happy for 2-3 years (since season 7 at the latest) with little to no signs of being guilty about feeling that way.
that's what I mean by saying about the episode being out of place, unnecessary, making very little sense, and ret-conning years of character growth.
(additionally I was confused as to why you brought up them divorcing because of his work; I never said they broke he didn't love her (quite the opposite). I said "their relationship wasn't some epic love story; it was a story of love not always being enough to weather certain hardships." yes, she was his first love, his high school sweetheart, and she will always have a place in his heart, but that doesn't mean he'd feel like he needs her permission after all this time. again, in season 6? oh definitely. when he first meets Beth? I can totally buy that. after he's been happy for 3-4 years and dating Beth for 2 years? no, nope, can't. don't get me wrong, I've always been angry that Hotch's healing has been entirely offscreen, but it's been far too long since it happened for this specific scenario.)
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maybe I would have been okay if it was JUST about feeling inadequate re: Jack (and got rid of Foyet because he'd be even more useless there) and I probably would have understood having a flashback because of a case (tho if there was new Foyet footage, we would probably have gotten a graphic rape scene, given what Foyet said about proving he doesn't stab his victims bc he's impotent). what I can't get behind is Hotch needing Haley to tell him it's okay for him to be happy when he's literally been happy for 2-3 years (since season 7 at the latest) with little to no signs of being guilty about feeling that way.
that's what I mean by saying about the episode being out of place, unnecessary, making very little sense, and ret-conning years of character growth.
(additionally I was confused as to why you brought up them divorcing because of his work; I never said they broke he didn't love her (quite the opposite). I said "their relationship wasn't some epic love story; it was a story of love not always being enough to weather certain hardships." yes, she was his first love, his high school sweetheart, and she will always have a place in his heart, but that doesn't mean he'd feel like he needs her permission after all this time. again, in season 6? oh definitely. when he first meets Beth? I can totally buy that. after he's been happy for 3-4 years and dating Beth for 2 years? no, nope, can't. don't get me wrong, I've always been angry that Hotch's healing has been entirely offscreen, but it's been far too long since it happened for this specific scenario.)