But you can ejaculate without being able to "successfully" have sex. If he can't get erect with a partner and engage in sex acts, he's technically impotent, even if he could experience orgasm while stabbing a person (technically a stand in for sex, but not real sex). The only way to make sense of his monologue is to assume that Hotch was raped. The only way to make sense of the fact that Hotch lied to Emily is that he was raped and doesn't want to tell/admit it/his team to know. I kind of have to assume that Hotch was raped