criminalxminds | a jj fanmix

Calm, Cool, Confident. These are the words that could be used to describe Agent Jennifer Jareau, Liason for The BAU. However, there is another side to her. It's the side shown in North Mammon when she passionately convinces the team to help a mother find her missing daughter, it's the side that comforted a rape victim, it's the remmants of the girl who used to play soccer and collected butterflies. This fanmix is for that side, the broken hearted side of the face of the BAU.

Queen of Apology by the Sounds
This will be the death to me
I'm the Queen of Apologys

JJ barely remembers a time when "I'm sorry for your loss," was not a part of her daily vocabulary.

Mary Jane by Alanis Morissette
I hear you´re counting sheep again Mary Jane
What´s the point of tryin´ to dream anymore
I hear you´re losing weight again Mary Jane
Do you ever wonder who you´re losing it for
Well it´s full speed baby
In the wrong direction
There´s a few more bruises
If that´s the way
You insist on heading
Please be honest Mary Jane
Are you happy
Please don´t censor your tears

When she closes her eyes, JJ sees them. Faces of people they didn't help, couldn't save. She second guesses herself and forces her smiles

It Won't Rain All The Time by Jane Siberry
And the pounding feet in the streets below
And a window breaks and a woman falls
There's something wrong
It's hard to believe that love will prevail
It can't rain all the time...

Each new case showcases a new way people have found to torture others and JJ wonders if there will ever be in a time when the good outways the bad, not vice versa

Dogs by Damien Rice
She's like an angel, man
She burns my eyes
Oh and she turns
She pulls a smile
We drive her round
And she drives us wild

He watches her from the back of the crowd and wonders if anyone sees her like he does

When You Were Young by The Killers
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch him now, here he come

They aren't perfect, her with her unwillingness to share her feelings and him with his inability to but there are moments when they're together when it seems perfect

A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to and you'll show up to work with a smile
You'll be better and you'll be smarter and more grown up
And a better daughter or son and a real good friend
And you'll be awake, you'll be alert, you'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
You'll be a real good listener, you'll be honest, you'll be brave
You'll be handsome and you'll be beautiful.
You'll be happy.

There were moments, little ones mostly, when her life seemed to be exactly where it was always meant to be and she was happy

Move Along by The All American Rejects
When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

When Elle was gone, JJ felt like she should resent Emily for taking her spot on the team but then she realized that Elle left them and she needed to trust the new girl and move on

Raining in Baltimore by The Counting Crows
These train conversations are passing me by
And I don't have nothing to say
You get what you pay for
But I just had no intention of living this way

JJ wondered how much of her life, her emotions, her everything would have been different if she had chosen a different occupation

She'll Hear You by Ben Jelen
And now you're gone
My hands melt to yesterday's melodies
Time's pushing along
Still looking back to hold on to the days we said we'd never say goodbye.

She watches him go and wonders how many more people she'll lose

Run To The Water by Live
In a moment we lost our minds here
And dreamt the world was round
A million mile fall from grace
Thank God we missed the ground

Each time she falls down, somehow, she finds the strength to pick herself back up again.

Anna - Molly by Incubus
Anna Molly (wait there is a light, there is a fire defragmenting the attic)
Anna Molly (fate or something better, I could care less, just stay with me a while)

Things get bad, she's learned that all to well, but she's also learned to cling to the people she loves, to have faith and trust and hope that someday it will be better

The Zip
The snippets after the lyrics are bits of ficlets I've written.